NO BOURBON, NO SCOTCH. JUST BEER
By E.G. Brady

You don’t have to be a beer drinker to appreciate a good beer commercial. They actually have some great ones down here. My personal favorites are the Corona ads, in which the sudden appearance of a giant Corona sign causes dramatic behavioral changes. The Venetian gondolier stops singing a dignified O Sole Mio and suddenly bursts into a rousing chorus of Cielito Lindo. The Russian army marching grimly through Red Square starts doing the Mexican Hat Dance. The Royal Canadian Mountie stands up on his horse and performs jumping jack vaquero rope tricks. The Aryan biker gang strikes up a Pedro Infante song. The Spanish Flamenco dancer turns ranchera. The message being, I guess, that Corona brings out the Mexican in everyone. I can dig it. Cerveza Victoria is unfortunately almost unavailable here in Mazatlán, but fortunately their ads still get heavy national rotation. Sra Brady says that I should feel offended by them, but they are pretty funny. Two bumbling gringos keep trying to smuggle cases of Victoria beer across the border to the US in

ridiculous and unsuccessful ways that often involve dressing up like women and falling all over each other. At the end one of them always sobs, “We need a better plan!” Ain’t it the truth! I wish Mazatlan’s own Pacifico would bring back a certain commercial they used to run years ago in which a suave sophisticated Jaime Bond man of the world type spies a beautiful, sweaty senorita tanning alone on the beach. Pop quiz for you single guys out there: What do you do now? Answer: Place an ice cold Pacifico in your remote controlled miniature dune buggy, and send it her way. Of course, the best thing about beer ads is the sports events they sponsor (as opposed to shows sponsored by, say, Johnson & Johnson). And I hate to disappoint the breweries, but their commercials in no way affect my decision-making process. I and my pocketbook alone decide what tastes good to me and no amount of humor, cleavage or celebrity endorsements on the TV screen will induce me to change my mind. But it doesn’t hurt to look. egbrady@pacificpearl.com

 

 


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