DON'T CALL ME SHRIMP
By E.G. Brady

They say that Mazatlán has the largest fleetest shrimp fleet in the known world, but like so many hunting and gathering operations, the industry is always beset with economic woes: low catch volume, shrimpy shrimp, piracy, poaching, pollution, foreign encroachment, fickle consumer tastes and the simultaneous concurrence of shrimp season and hurricane season all conspire against the embattled shrimper. Now that tourism is on the wane, what can be done to increase demand, raise shrimp prices and pump more money into the city coffers? Easy! Let’s think of a better word for shrimp! Some animals are blessed (or should we say cursed?) with delicious names like “lobster” and “pheasant.” Even such truly revolting foods as caviar and anchovy sound like delicacies. On the other hand, muskrat and crawdad sound unappetizing, although the ultimate culinary authority (if you don’t have Herter’s Bull Cook Book, hunt it down and treasure it) praises them as being some mighty good eating. It’s all about image. A squid by any other name would taste sweeter. Call it a calamar and the price doubles. The new politically mandatory word for you-know-what is now “camaron” (pronounced kama ROAN). Like the infinitely less tasty “escargot”, “camaron” has a certain exotic cachet and, as of press time, no acquisitive corporation has copyrighted it. Try repeating the Forrest Gump menu, substituting “camaron” for

“shrimp,” and you’ll see what I mean. Once you’ve had a camaron cocktail or a camaron brochette, you’ll never go back. Sometimes, all it takes is the right publicity campaign to make a commodity suddenly become all the rage. For example, in my grand-mother’s day, a wedding ring was a modest gold band, and diamonds were not common outside of royal circles. Somehow, De Beers and their cohorts convinced the world that diamonds are forever, and the measure of a man’s worth is how much he spends on the obligatory diamond engagement/wedding ring set. Sadly, some advertising campaigns are less successful. “Pork- the other white meat” comes to mind. Let’s not revive that one. Personally, I’m inclined toward a beach party theme, with Shakira dancing around a bonfire. Or maybe Jimmy Buffet could rewrite Mar-garitaville so the word “camaron” would fit in place of “shrimp.” Or Shaquille could forever erase our favorite crustacean’s reputation for being small. Or Crocodile Dundee could throw another camaron on the barbie. And, of course, sometimes grass roots movements succeed where big budget promotions fail, so come on everybody, let’s all do our best to make “camaron” a household word! When you go back home, use it on waiters and seafood section managers. Bombard trade magazines with cards and letters. Inform Webster’s dictionary of the change. Together, we can help our fair city of Mazatlán to increase net profits.

 

 

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