Mexican lore contains many wise and witty sayings, and it is my pleasure to pass on a few of them to you, philosophical reader. My favorite is, “ Con dinero, baila el perro” (literally, “with money, dances the dog”). The closest English equivalent might be the less colorful, non-rhyming “money talks.” Another message from the animal world is, “Cada chango a su mecate”, or “to each ape his vine.” Sounds a lot cooler than “to each his own” and “do your thing” put together. And don’t forget “Camarón que se duerme, se lo lleva la corriente,” that is, “the shrimp that sleeps is carried off by the current.” Reminds me of my grandma’s “root, hog, or die,” and my Little League coach’s “look alive, stay alive.” And from our high-flying friends we have, “Más vale pájaro en mano que cien volando,” or “A bird in hand is better than a hundred in flight.” (Trick math question: How many birds in flight is one bird in the bush worth, if x=one bird in the bush and y=one bird in flight? Answer below.) One that I really can’t think of an English counterpart for is, “Más sabe el diablo por viejo que por Diablo,” roughly, “the devil knows more from age and experience than from being the devil.” Sayings like “there’s no fool like an old fool,” or Twain’s “better a young June bug than an old bird of paradise”

tend to disparage the elderly, while this diabolical adage equates old age with wisdom. I like that. I also like the sage advice, “Más vale ‘aquí corrió’ que ‘aquí murió’ “, or “better ‘here he ran’ than ‘here he died’.” Sort of a less lighthearted version of “he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.” Then there is the lesson the tortoise taught the hare, and Catherine the Great taught her cavalry officers—”Más vale paso que dure que trote que canse”, or “better a lasting pace than a tiring trot.” An important note for Vikings on vacation here in Mazatlán: “Poner los cuernos”, or “put the horns on”, means, um...uh..well.. your wife has a boyfriend. For example, there is an old bar in Creel, Chihuahua with a giant set of antlers on the wall and a sign which reads, “If these are yours, please claim them.” No takers. Then there is the joke about the wife who goes to the doctor complaining that her husband is not the toro that he used to be, and the doc says, “First, we must put the horns on him.” Anyhow, you get the picture. So the next time you see some college tour binge drinkers staggering around with their scantily clad girlfriends, while wearing Hagar the Horrible helmets, you’ll know why people are laughing. Oh, yeah, the math puzzle. I think the answer is x>50y. If I’m wrong, sue me.